Long gone are the days when online dating sites were reserved for the emotionally unstable, socially-inept 30-somethings of the world. Either love has become more scarce, or people are just becoming more honest about how hard it is to find that special someone. At New York University, dating websites like OkCupid and DateMySchool are a rising epidemic among female students.
I In light of the notoriously large gay male population of NYU, and general difficulty of meeting people in the big apple, the women of NYU are turning to dating sites as a last resort. “I found it kind of hard to meet people at NYU," said NYU junior Liz Smith*, who has been on OkCupid for one month. "And I don’t really like getting picked up at bars."
Kelsie Davidson, a student of NYU's "Spring in NY" program, has found it especially difficult to meet men due to the short duration of her time in the city. That's why she joined DateMySchool. "When I heard about DateMySchool, I thought, worst-case scenario, it would be a good place to meet some potential guy friends in the city, and best-case scenario, I could meet a guy I'd want to date."
Others have joined dating sites as a means of testing the waters before jumping right in after a break-up--like NYU junior Sophia House. "It seemed like a way to scope out the dating scene a little bit without getting right back 'into it,' so to speak," said the OkCupid user, who made a profile on a friend's recommendation.
And then, of course, there are those who join for kicks. "I'm only on OkCupid because I was really bored the night I made it," said NYU junior Raven Troup, who has had her OkCupid profile for less than a month. "I'm considering deleting my account, because it's too creepy for me."
It's true--dating sites have not yet become "creep-proof." "I've exchanged messages with a few people that seemed pretty promising," said Troup. "But then one guy sent me a picture of his junk, and another guy got mad at me when I didn't respond right away."
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Even the more exclusive DateMySchool--which has [slightly pretentiously] made its services available only to NYU, Columbia, and FIT students--has its fair share of freaks and failure-to-launch cases.
"Personally, I'm not interested in an out-of-work actor who's living in his mom's basement," said NYU junior Sheena Sharma. But Sharma, a self-proclaimed "love cynic," admitted dating sites are definitely "luck of the draw" when her sister's best friend became engaged to a man she met on OkCupid.
"You have to use discretion," said NYU senior Jennifer Mergott. "It's hard to tell if somebody is crazy based on their online profile on some website."
Discretion certainly paid off for Mergott. After careful consideration on the DateMySchool, she connected with a professional baseball player(!) studying at NYU in his off-season. The two engaged in a whirlwind romance that lasted until Mergott's sweetheart had to head back to California for season training. The two remain close friends.
Cyber love also found NYU senior Katrina Garland, who met her boyfriend of six weeks after only two days on OkCupid. "It's great for people who are a little awkward and a little shy, and have trouble meeting people because they aren't into the drinking scene," said Garland with a chuckle. "Like my boyfriend and me."
But just like in the real world, rejection and broken hearts are always a possibility. A serious downside of online dating is the ease with which people can reject each other. Smith went on what she thought to be a delightful date, but stopped hearing from her OkCupid sweetie soonafter without much explanation.
"There's a big difference between meeting someone in person and rejecting someone virtually," said Smith. "It's so easy to reject someone online."
Whether or not you find your soul mate, it's nice to know dating sites are becoming a socially acceptable means of trying. Most students say they decided to join one of the two sites after they discovered their friends were using them. "After I got mine, one of my friends got one because I had gotten one," said Garland. "I feel like it's spreading, and if your friends have one, it makes it OK."
Though we are the Facebook generation--ever expanding our social media usage--there are those who just can't swallow the idea of finding true love online. "I still prefer the old-fashioned method of meeting someone in person," said Troup.
Perhaps the best way to look at online dating is from Smith's perspective: "You may or may not find your soul mate, but at least it's entertaining."
*Last name changed for anonymity.
Others have joined dating sites as a means of testing the waters before jumping right in after a break-up--like NYU junior Sophia House. "It seemed like a way to scope out the dating scene a little bit without getting right back 'into it,' so to speak," said the OkCupid user, who made a profile on a friend's recommendation.
And then, of course, there are those who join for kicks. "I'm only on OkCupid because I was really bored the night I made it," said NYU junior Raven Troup, who has had her OkCupid profile for less than a month. "I'm considering deleting my account, because it's too creepy for me."
It's true--dating sites have not yet become "creep-proof." "I've exchanged messages with a few people that seemed pretty promising," said Troup. "But then one guy sent me a picture of his junk, and another guy got mad at me when I didn't respond right away."
'
Even the more exclusive DateMySchool--which has [slightly pretentiously] made its services available only to NYU, Columbia, and FIT students--has its fair share of freaks and failure-to-launch cases.
"Personally, I'm not interested in an out-of-work actor who's living in his mom's basement," said NYU junior Sheena Sharma. But Sharma, a self-proclaimed "love cynic," admitted dating sites are definitely "luck of the draw" when her sister's best friend became engaged to a man she met on OkCupid.
"You have to use discretion," said NYU senior Jennifer Mergott. "It's hard to tell if somebody is crazy based on their online profile on some website."
Discretion certainly paid off for Mergott. After careful consideration on the DateMySchool, she connected with a professional baseball player(!) studying at NYU in his off-season. The two engaged in a whirlwind romance that lasted until Mergott's sweetheart had to head back to California for season training. The two remain close friends.
Cyber love also found NYU senior Katrina Garland, who met her boyfriend of six weeks after only two days on OkCupid. "It's great for people who are a little awkward and a little shy, and have trouble meeting people because they aren't into the drinking scene," said Garland with a chuckle. "Like my boyfriend and me."
But just like in the real world, rejection and broken hearts are always a possibility. A serious downside of online dating is the ease with which people can reject each other. Smith went on what she thought to be a delightful date, but stopped hearing from her OkCupid sweetie soonafter without much explanation.
"There's a big difference between meeting someone in person and rejecting someone virtually," said Smith. "It's so easy to reject someone online."
Whether or not you find your soul mate, it's nice to know dating sites are becoming a socially acceptable means of trying. Most students say they decided to join one of the two sites after they discovered their friends were using them. "After I got mine, one of my friends got one because I had gotten one," said Garland. "I feel like it's spreading, and if your friends have one, it makes it OK."
Though we are the Facebook generation--ever expanding our social media usage--there are those who just can't swallow the idea of finding true love online. "I still prefer the old-fashioned method of meeting someone in person," said Troup.
Perhaps the best way to look at online dating is from Smith's perspective: "You may or may not find your soul mate, but at least it's entertaining."
*Last name changed for anonymity.
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